messages for you

I've recently realized how selfish we humans are. We tell ourselves that the actions we take are for the benefit of the receiver when in reality it's a selfish choice we make to convince ourselves that we are somehow helping the one we care most about. //

to you;

It's sad. The distance between us now. No one else in this world has ever made me laugh harder at the most mundane statements. It's like losing you all over again just like 6 months ago. Maybe next March I'll get another surprise birthday wish notification. Until then, I'll secretly pray for it to be from you. //

Call me selfish for saying this. You said you would always be there for me, as one human to another. If that were really true, you would've put your selfish feelings for me aside and been there for me like you said you would when I needed you the most. God knows that's what everyone else in this world does for the person they care about the most. At least you made your decision on your own. You've said your goodbye; now don't come back. //

Although it's sad, I really don't care of your opinion anymore. I'm going to do things my way from now and if my actions disappoint you, keep those thoughts to yourself. I'll suffer the consequences on my own and I'll be proud of myself when I need to be. In a way I've been too reliant on you as well and it needs to stop. I am proud of what I've accomplished and who I am today. I hope one day I can hear you say the same to me. //

Thank you for the hug you gave me the other day. Thank you for the warmth you filled me with. Thank you for making me feel worthy of a 30 second hug out of the hour and a half transportation time I wasted of your life. I'm so grateful to have a brother like you. また明日ね、弟君 //

I love how strong our bond is. Even if we don't speak everyday, it is so comforting to know that we will always be there for each other. Also, to clarify, I miss your face too buddy ☺ much love. //

Sometimes "home" is not a place, but a person. And that person will always be you. Please call me again soon, I miss your voice. I miss you. //

NOTE: Apologies for the writer's block. I needed time to re-evaluate myself and the purpose of my writing. Correction: It is not a coping mechanism anymore because I am trying to rid myself of all dependance. My posts will become less frequent now and when I write, I'll be writing for the enjoyment of writing.