Eight
"Having too much freedom has its bad side too...you have to bear the responsibilities of every action you make." - an old friend
It's interesting to have a conversation with someone who has what you want and who wants what you have. Is it Jealousy? Envy? Coveting? Mimetic desire? Or maybe it's just a yearning for Escapism from either of our lives. Are we bored? Do we want change?
It's human nature to seek change in our lives. We wonder and imagine what could add that small glimmer that we feel is lacking. We anticipate the spark that will ignite a brighter future, a more exciting day to look forward to. When we adopt something new into our lives, we integrate it into our daily routine. Perhaps almost to an excessive extent. As our mind gets accustomed to the change, the extraordinary becomes ordinary and its mystery vanishes. So begins our quest for a new change.
What am I searching for? //
I've started hallucinating.
It's mortifying, quite frankly. Black creatures of all sizes crowd my vision. They crawl everywhere, over everything. It's so real I can feel their presence creeping all over me, sending shivers down my spine and making me sick to my stomach.
The nightmares are evolving. They've adapted to invade my mind in sleep and wake.
I'm scared of them and they know it. //
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"But it is not bravery; I have no choice. I wake up and live my life. Don't you do the same?"
- Anthony Doerr, All the Light We Cannot See
It's interesting to have a conversation with someone who has what you want and who wants what you have. Is it Jealousy? Envy? Coveting? Mimetic desire? Or maybe it's just a yearning for Escapism from either of our lives. Are we bored? Do we want change?
It's human nature to seek change in our lives. We wonder and imagine what could add that small glimmer that we feel is lacking. We anticipate the spark that will ignite a brighter future, a more exciting day to look forward to. When we adopt something new into our lives, we integrate it into our daily routine. Perhaps almost to an excessive extent. As our mind gets accustomed to the change, the extraordinary becomes ordinary and its mystery vanishes. So begins our quest for a new change.
What am I searching for? //
I've started hallucinating.
It's mortifying, quite frankly. Black creatures of all sizes crowd my vision. They crawl everywhere, over everything. It's so real I can feel their presence creeping all over me, sending shivers down my spine and making me sick to my stomach.
The nightmares are evolving. They've adapted to invade my mind in sleep and wake.
I'm scared of them and they know it. //
*********************************************************************************
"But it is not bravery; I have no choice. I wake up and live my life. Don't you do the same?"
- Anthony Doerr, All the Light We Cannot See
"I'm caught between trying to live my life, and trying to run from it."
- Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being A Wallflower
coooool
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